45 Thoughts Mandi Kaye Had While Watching Whip It

  1. Here’s what I know: Ellen Page, Drew Barrymore, roller derby.
  2. Well this takes place in the South.
  3. I do love that blue hair!
  4. I’m confused. She didn’t win? But she has that giant trophy?
  5. Ohhhh, the little sister won one!
  6. Blue Bonnet is the best ice cream. For real.
  7. Man, Ellen Page was SO YOUNG!
  8. LOL – so she just buys the shoes for herself. LOVE IT.
  9. Pretending to go see a hs football game to go to roller derby
  10. Holy shit is that Jimmy Fallon?!
  11. Juliette Lewis???
  12. Kristin Wiig??
  13. “I can grow the balls.”
  14. She took the bingo bus. I like this girl.
  15. I don’t even know the rules of derby. I’m glad they’re going through it!
  16. Aw, she broke her glasses!
  17. I love her dedication – skating EVERYWHERE.
  18. No one thinks it’s weird that she’s suddenly skating all the time?
  19. Oh – aha! She’s hiding from her mom.
  20. Smashley works at Whole Foods, lol
  21. These guys are my age. I could totally do Roller Derby if I want to.
  22. I’m so not that cool.
  23. “Congratulations, you still suck!”
  24. Do these guys all seriously think she’s 22?
  25. So when’s Oliver going to show up at the Oink Joint?
  26. Oh, hey. There he is.
  27. I feel like this can’t end well. So much lying about her age!
  28. Grown women having a food fight is my jam.
  29. Oh shit. The pageant is the same day!
  30. This is getting worse. Pash is arrested. Iron Maven knows she’s only 17. This is all going to go to hell.
  31. Kissing underwater does not seem like it would be fun.
  32. WTF. She just took her shirt off in the middle of the street!
  33. Uh oh, the shit’s hitting the fan!
  34. “You’re full of shit.” Damn.
  35. Fuck you, Maven.
  36. “That was odd.” “Oddly glorious.”
  37. Oh c’mon Bliss. That photo means nothing!
  38. C’mon, mom. Be a good mom.
  39. I love the relationship her parents have.
  40. “I can take losing the money. I cannot take losing the chance of our girl being happy.”
  41. Her mom’s gonna show up, right? 
  42. YES! She did!
  43. Oh, shit. That’s a hell of a knockout.
  44. Oh. Wow. I really thought they’d win.
  45. Did she have no plans for college?

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Mandi Kaye

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